P r o m i s e
by 0Wishful-Thoughts0
Summary: 'She wants to do something. Her heart, her very soul is screaming at her to do something. But she can't.'  Yosuga/Toto Based on the events in Chapters 49 and 50.


**MAJOR SPOILTRY FOR CHAPTERS 49 AND 50. I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO SPOIL THAT EPICNESS FOR YOU. BECAUSE THOSE TWO CHAPTERS WERE MAKING ME SPAZZ. SO READ THEM BEFORE YOU READ THIS, PLEASE. :D**

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><p><strong>A Wishful Thought: <strong>Deadman Wonderland is one of the best mangas out there. And it makes me sad that there's a general lack of fanfiction in this category. So I thought I'd make a small contribution. It's the least I can do for this amazing series.

This is a little short, but I like how it came out. Yosuga/Toto forever.

**Disclaimer: **No. I don't own Deadman Wonderland. Because if I did, Toto would be the most innocent thing in the world. :/

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><p><em><span>P r o m i s e.<span>_

She can do nothing but watch in horror.

Her Toto.

That's _her_ Toto.

But as that man—Senji, was it?—tears through _her _Toto's body, she feels her insides drop.

"_Right on target."_

No. This isn't happening.

Not to her.

Not to him.

Not to _them._

It was never supposed to be like this.

She wants to do something. Her _heart_, her very _soul_ is _screaming_ at her to do something.

But she can't.

There are no tears. No falling on her knees. No whimper, no cry, no sound whatsoever.

Just that horrible, _horrible_ feeling.

The building behind _him_ was sliced by that man's attack—something that she didn't notice before. The structure crumbles away, plummeting towards the ground, quickly catching up with _his _descent.

And by time she realizes what's going to happen, it's too late.

Because Toto, _her_ Toto, has already been crushed underneath the rubble.

Her heart instantly stops and her breathing hitches. She feels the sting of the threatening tears behind her eyes.

_No_.

Her breathing is coming out as broken gasps for air, her eyes are still wide with disbelief, and her heart has managed to twist itself in pain.

_No._

She tries her best to regain her composure. The people that she's with: they wouldn't be happy if they knew she was grieving over their enemy. She had thought that that one boy—what was his name? Ganta?—would understand. But… she had told him that she was only here for _her_ Toto, because she loved—no. Because she _loves_ her Toto. And he was partially to blame for his demise.

_No..._

Finally, she succumbs to her heart's desire. She feels herself fall onto her knees out of sheer shock. Slight trembles begin to race up and down her body as she continues to stare at the place where _he_ had fallen.

And she longs to cry out for him, to scream his name, to hold his body in her lap and just _cry_.

But she can't.

All she manages is the slight movement of her lips, a broken murmur, "No…"

And the tears finally come.

Her back arches forward as she tries to grab at the ground for some sense of stability.

But it doesn't help her at all. Because _he_ was her only sense of stability. _Is_ her only sense of stability.

_He_ is the reason that she lives.

The others, her "comrades" pay no attention to her or her tears. To all of them, she is a nobody. Unimportant, weak, and a liability. They're too busy cheering about their victory to even pay her a second's notice.

_So this is your chance to do something_.

Slowly, she rises from the ground, her bangs shadowing her features as she feels her legs carry her in the general direction of their base.

And she feels so… _empty_.

Because why did this have to happen to her? Why is it that when she _finally_ had something to keep her anchored to the world of the living, that that world just _had_ to strip it away from her? Why is it that _her_ Toto had to be taken away from her?

Why did _that man _take _her Toto _away from her?

She arrives at her destination and quickly ransacks the entire room. Tears are still blurring her vision, but she still manages to hastily take everything that she could possibly need to fulfill the task that her heart is screaming out to her.

And then she breaks out into a sprint.

She hates him. That man. That _selfish, arrogant, sad_ excuse for a man.

He took away _her_ Toto and turned him into _that_ Toto.

No… That wasn't right.

He took away _her_ Toto and then _possessed_ him.

_That man is defiling her Toto's body._

She pauses to look around her general area, deciding then and there that _this_ was the place. It _had_ to be. The apparatus, though obviously not in a perfect condition, is all there. So she drops all of the medical supplies, and runs again.

Towards _him_.

However, she feels a sudden presence that makes her stop and look around. Her "comrades" are still celebratory, and are just now beginning to leave the site, leading their injured back to the base.

So she hides.

Because even though she knows that they don't really care about her, the guilt over stealing their equipment is too much to bear. And even though she knows that they don't realize that she's not with them and that they'll realize _eventually_ that she was the one who stole it all, it doesn't take away any of the guilt.

Because no matter what anyone says about her, she is _not_ a bad person.

So as soon as she feels the absence of their presence, she takes off once more.

This thievery, this _crime_ that she's committed, doesn't count. Because it's for Toto.

And she'll do anything for Toto, because she knows that Toto will do anything for her.

Yet it's that sudden thought that causes her to cease her sprint. Because _her_ Toto would do anything for her. But _this_ isn't _her_ Toto anymore.

She's admitted it to herself many times_._

_Her_ Toto is being defiled.

The rage and fury against _that man_ have accumulated in her body, making her insides seethe.

And finally, she's back at where she started.

Back to where _his_ body was crushed.

Crushed, yes. But not dead. She knows it. She _feels_ it.

The object hidden in her clothing—once a toy, now a reality—feels heavy in her hand as she takes it out, pointing it at where she assumes _he_ remains. "…Toto. You're not dead yet. Do you know why?"

Silence is the only thing that meets her words.

"...Maybe… it's because Yosuga hasn't made Toto into a bullet pincushion yet?"

_Now. Shoot._

She waits for the sound of gunfire to echo throughout the air, for the aftershock from the firing of the gun to send tremors up her arm.

But it never comes.

_Why _does it not come?

Her wide eyes meander towards the gun that is being held by her shaking hand.

"_**Bang!**__ Like that! With this, we can die together at any time, Nee-Chan."_

"…_So Yosuga will shoot Toto full of holes_?"

"_Yup… And I'll tear Nee-Chan into pieces_."

Her heart stops, along with her breathing.

She feels her resolve beginning to crack, but tries her best to ignore it.

"_So from now on, this will be Nee-Chan's reason to live._"

And that single line, spoken in _her_ Toto's voice, with _her_ Toto's smile breaks her heart. Forces all of her determination to crumble away into nothing.

The weapon drops to the ground, and she soon follows. Tears have already commenced rushing down her face in a storm as she finally, _truly_ breaks down.

She can't do it. She can't hurt him. Because even if her Toto's body doesn't belong to him anymore, she knows that _her_ Toto is somewhere inside it. Even through that madman's ministrations, _her_ Toto is still there.

He _has_ to be.

If she shot him now, then yes, she'd be killing that _wretched _man. But she would also be killing _her _Toto.

And her Toto can't die yet.

Because she has to kill him, and he has to kill her. They had to die together. They had to escape the cruel horrors of reality _together_.

It was more than just her reason for living.

He was more than just her "little brother."

What they had—no. What they _have_ is a promise.


End file.
